Cute Autism-isms

Autism is not all bad. Here are some really cute things I adore that autism does...

Sienna used to jump up and down whe she got excited and still does on occasion. It's heartwarming. She expresses her emotions physically and to see her jump up and down, I know she's very happy or excited about something. Thank goodness because I'm sure there are many things in a day that she dreads.

Sienna sings and sings and sings. She makes up her own songs and she has lovely tone. Very rarely will she sing in front of anyone other than us but she makes up either her own words or completely nonsensical lyrics to a familiar tune that she knows. And she literally sings in the shower. Kinda like the opera way. Just like those commercials. I have tried to record some because I love listening to it so much!

Sometimes having to stick to the routine can be monotonous but other times it's a godsend. For example, now that we have practiced the morning routine of getting dressed, brushing teeth and going to the washroom, she will sometimes do these things on her own and then come to my room afterward to surprise me. Cutest thing ever! And it's like Christmas for me!

One of my favourite phrases from Sienna is "Right mommy?" This usually comes when she is telling someone else something that she feels is important. Like for example, telling someone about the rock cycle. We've read this national geographic book many times and she always wants to describe what is happening in the volcano picture. If she was telling someone else about volcanoes or rocks, she would very likely look at me when she's done and say, "Right mommy?" Or sometimes she will tell her dad something that I told her she could do and look to me and say, "Right mommy?" And she always says it in the same chipper tone.

This kid has the memory of ... an elephant? My grandfather? I don't know the saying, but she remembers things in pictures. We went to Canada's Wonderland last year and discussed going back again, she can recite some very particular details of that day -- a year ago. Like how many divers were in the show or what colour her roller coaster car was that day. Sure enough I could pull out a photo and she's right.

This kid loves the water. She loves swimming so much that if she does her little practice dive in the deep end, she is howling laughter before she even comes up for air. Sometimes I wonder how she manages to take a breath. I think about her challenges with body awareness and can see how swimming might make her feel free and weightless. I'm sure it's a relief for her from lifting her heavy limbs and bruising her poor legs on random things. Once we get her into the bathtub, she could stay there for hours if we let her. She loves laying in the bath listening underwater to the interesting muffled noises.

I still get to pick out her clothes. So if she doesn't match, it's my fault! Enough said.

When we get her on her crazy giggle, she won't stop. If we mimic her, she will continue until we are all crying with laughter. And she has the cutest laugh. She doesn't use it often so it is saved for cuteness.

She is a happy child and excited to go places and see new things. She loves animals and reptiles and will be an ant advocate for life. Her fascination with living things is admirable.

Maybe people would say that "every child has these cute little talents" or whatever. But we know these things are just a little bit different for our child. So there... There are just a few of the things that autism does to bring smiles to our faces. 

Thank goodness I'm a teacher

As we are into our second week of summer holidays, I have to commend working parents on the effort they must put into finding appropriate care for their children for such a long stretch of time. The planning, the organizing, the phone calls, the schedule changes. I can't even imagine. What a nightmare! Thank goodness I'm a teacher!

The lack of structure of summer holidays can be difficult for kids on the spectrum. Our first four days were filled with toileting accidents, meltdowns, demands, and a gazillion questions about "what's next". After that transition to the summer break, things have gotten better. We had a few days in a row without accidents and I would say an average, appropriate (haha) number of meltdowns etcetera. She needs to be kept busy and with a fair amount of guidance, that's for sure, but all in all we're doing well at the moment.

I have Sienna signed up for a camp this week and have sent a support worker with her. This is why I say I am so glad I chose the teaching profession. She's having a hard time. It's not very structured and I would go so far as saying it is quite disorganized actually. There is a visual schedule up on the wall, which is something she is familiar with and relies upon, but it is not followed. She is not given preparation for the transitions to the next activity. It's in a huge room that has two other large groups going on with a lot of echoing. Her group plays games and sing songs in a hallway. These are all challenges for Sienna. It won't be a camp that we return to again and I'm pondering pulling her from the week in August that we had planned. This is her first "older" camp with kids ages 6-8. She does better with the younger camps that have more structure and a lower counsellor-child ratio... Even with a support worker. It's unfortunate that it is not more inclusive. I would love to propose to the co-ordinator that I teach these counsellors how to design an inclusive environment. Maybe they'd pay me for that? Lol. Or maybe they'd sign me up for a psychiatric evaluation...

But anyway! Back to being thankful! If I was not a teacher and didn't have summers off, having a child with special needs would be even more challenging. First, where would I find the time to find appropriate camps and meet with the people to discuss our needs and fill out all the extra paperwork that comes with A) having special needs and B) verifying the support worker is legit? Second, how would I ever afford the $600 per week for 6 or 8 weeks that is paid to the support worker? Ouch. That plus the camp fees... And making sure there is someone who is knowledgeable, caring and available to support her each week? Third, and most important, how would Sienna ever get through 6 weeks of camps that are different, with different rules, different structures, different counsellors? Eek. Thank goodness I decided to go to teachers college... 

Plus I love being a teacher too -- just sayin'!

I shed a few tears today...

The last day of school... An emotional day. Nothing to do with the usual mother sighing... "Ahhhh. Another year gone by. We're does time go? I can't believe my baby is in grade blablabla..." Nope. 

My first tears were shed after I talked to Sienna's fantastic teacher - who's been with us for two years taking care of my daughter like she was her own. She gets it. She has experienced some similar challenges with her son so she has not only helped Sienna but also me personally with learning how to accept some of those challenges. We discussed how far Sienna has come and she was so excited to tell me about Sienna's reading level which, according to her, is way above where she should be. It's so heartwarming to hear a teacher excited about that. Don't get me wrong. I am impressed with Sienna's reading. And this is attributed to the teacher's effort 100%. Sienna began reluctantly. But we have spent so much of our time focused on other things that academics are kind of at the bottom of the list. I think many people who know me would be surprised to hear that. Only because I was always such a good student and focused on school achievement myself. But our focus with Sienna in particular is to do all the things we can to keep her from experiencing anxiety or being teased or bullied. This frame of mind is also something I feel for my son. I really don't care what kind of grades he gets. I care that he is happy and kind to others. So for those people who get upset about their child's grades, I would encourage them to ask themselves if their child is happy. That's it. That's the most important thing. Anyhow, off topic I go again... I shed some tears because if it weren't for that teacher, our daughter would not be where she is in SO many ways and she would not be excited to go to school every day. I can't thank her enough. And there I go again tearing up about it.

My second tears were shed when Sienna got off the bus today. The last day of school. The last day of senior kindergarten. One of her friends, and our neighbour, was having a little graduation party for a few boys. It was so sweet and thoughtful, and of course, I thought of how I should have done something too. But aside from that I wondered if other kids were doing that and was Sienna not invited. And I reflected on how easy it is for parents to send their kids to a friend's house off the bus and not worry about them. I would have to think about how she would handle being out of routine and how will she handle the social aspects of a gathering and who will take her to the washroom and how will she verbalize her feelings and needs. I wonder if other parents realize how easy that is for them. Birthday parties. Play dates. Outings. Movies. Car rides. Kindergarten graduation celebrations. Tears.

And finally, I opened up Sienna's backpack and found a lovely letter from Sienna's ECE teacher thanking us for the end-of-school-year gift we gave her. She put forth such effort to describe how great she thinks Sienna is, how far she has come, and how bright her future is. She thanked us for working so hard every day for her and being advocates for Sienna. She wrote about what she has taken away from her experience teaching Sienna every day for two years. That is what struck me the most. Sometimes parents of children with special needs need to hear those things. We need people to remind us how hard we are working and that we are doing a good job. Hearing it inspires me and gives me just a little boost of energy to get through another few days... The letter was heartfelt. It was sincere. And it made me cry. 

So now we are done with kindergarten and on to the summer holidays. I'm unsure how I feel... other than the tears today. Likely deep down I am worried about how to structure summer holidays to meet Sienna's needs but to also catch a break for myself here and there. I am likely stressing about our lack of babysitters and support people. It's very possible that I am pondering how the toileting will go now that I'm on my own and don't have the structure of the school day and other people to support me. I am wondering how I will sustain the motivation and development of Sienna's school triumphs over the two months of the summer. How will the transition go to a new classroom, new teacher, and new curriculum in September? With her brother going to the school, will she be more stressed? Will this cause new issues? Or will I be able to pick up more about her days because he will tell all?

Whew! It's hard to be a parent of a child with special needs. She is everything to me.