The difference a year makes

When you enter summer as an autism parent, that's when you can really reflect on what a difference one year makes. The school year goes by and we just try to make it from week to week. Working full time, getting kids to activities, getting dinner on the table, meeting with school teams, and perhaps getting out to dinner on our own! The good thing about the school year is the ROUTINE! Summer is the time when we need to plan more, not less. This is the time when, although day camps are a form of structure, they are also a new form of structure with new people, new locations, and definitely new routines. And being home is total lack of structure, which can be managed in small amounts, but will become dreadful if not planned properly for in the long run. I've already been able to reflect on some of the progress we have made from last summer.

1. We sent Sweet Pea to camp for a day by herself the first week of camp. Last year, I wouldn't have even considered this. On the days that my support worker was not available last summer, I went to camp. I'm proud of Pea and generally happy with how it went. We had the support worker go day 1 and 1/2 of day 2. Day 3 was on her own, with the hope that the routine was in place and the people had gotten to know her. From Pea's perspective, I think it went ok, although I won't get much more than a sentence and very few responses if I ask questions. I won't get into details, but in retrospect it would have been best to have support every day for a 1/2 day. That will be what we try to put in place for the next camp. 

2. When she has said she does not want to go to soccer or baseball this year, we have pushed her to participate. Hell, somehow daddy got her to play baseball in the rain. I wasn't there but holy crap! Last  year, she couldn't have been pushed to even leave the house in a situation like that. We have signed her up for a variety of activities throughout the year for which she doesn't have a choice. To an outsider, that may sound odd (our son is 5 and he gets a choice). But if given a choice, Pea would say no. We hope that if we can just get her there, she will likely enjoy herself. We are trying to help her find her "thing", broaden her interests, and she is developing social skills in the meantime, avoiding the solitary confinement that is easier for her.

3. Pea can tolerate the word NO a little better. There may be a meltdown but we may be able to redirect her away from it somehow. Not always, but more than last summer.

4. There are no visual schedules posted up on the wall... Yet. She has demanded the iPad quite a bit more than I would like but all in all, so far so good. Last year we got the visuals out when things got rough. We took them on vacation at Christmas and used them for the first few days. We get them out when she seems not to be able to accept the lack of routine or process the order in which things happen (like the steps in the bathroom routine for example).

5. She has less teeth! Haha. Had to throw that in there.

Having said all this, August continues to be the hardest month of the year for us (April comes in at a close second). By the time we get through four weeks off in July, Pea is ready to go back to school. She's got ants in her pants, doesn't know what to do with her spare time, won't play games, won't play with toys, doesn't want to go outside, is done with soccer, done with baseball, done with her brother, bla bla bla. She resorts to weird car noises instead of speaking and animal actions instead of walking to the kitchen. It's almost like she knows when the clock strikes August. Her sleeping is a mess. She can't stop fidgeting, waking up with night terrors, waking up and very quietly sleep walking out of her room exactly one hour from the time she falls asleep (freaking the crap out of us), getting up at 4:45am (that was today)!! I'm not going to complain about the bathroom because that's at least going fairly well right now - although she Is requesting a lot of iPad time, which she only gets for a bathroom break or success there. Good? Bad? Whatever.

Three more weeks! Baaaaahhhhh! Then we get a new teacher, new classmates, a new routine, new meetings,... Yippee! Really, anything is better than August. I think...